Microsoft Licensing: The Pain It Keeps On Rolling

I continued to set up the Dell machine from the other day. I started out my day at the office where I updated my supervisor on the installation, saying that the laptop couldn't be joined to the Active Directory domain because it was running Windows 7 Home, and apparently that ability is disabled in the home edition. I wasn't sure if he'd care because I thought the user was going to be using it primarily at home anyway.

"Nah," he said. "We have Windows 7 Professional and the licenses, just install that on it."

I sighed, packed up my shiny Windows 7 DVD (64 bit, since for some reason the home version of Windows 7 was 64 bit on that laptop with less than 4 gig of usable RAM...) and headed out to the office where I could work on that system.

I vaguely recall that Windows since Vista has been coming in a form where every version, and there are lots of them, of Windows is included on the install DVD. The different versions that cost you hundreds and hundreds of dollars between the lowliest, crappiest version to the least crippled version are all one in the same; they simply have functionality that is disabled or enabled depending on the license key you feed it.

Neat, eh?

Don't get me wrong with what I'm about to say. I personally hate using software that is crippled artificially. It was one of the reasons I initially moved to Linux; my desktop computer could act as a capable server, while Windows, despite being able to handle a modest workload, was throttled back in what it could handle simply because of a registry setting. Even though I never to my recollection was even maxing out the throttled limits I hated the idea that my system was crippled simply because of me not having more money.

At the same time, I understand and support that it is Microsoft's right to impose limits on their users, as we have to agree to the license in the first place and that license places these (irritatingly arbitrary) limits on the end user. That's why I moved to Linux instead of pirating Windows. It's their product. They dictate what can and can't be done with it.

That said, why is it that Microsoft seems to go out of their way to make a task as simple as installing our volume-licensed, legal copy of Windows 7 Professional over the default Windows 7 Home preinstalled on a Dell laptop?

Here's the thing; for the most part, choice is bad for ease of use. You give users choices, you make them think, you give them the opportunity to screw up. That counts against you in the ease of use department. Weird, isn't it?

Microsoft has outdone itself, going out of their way to make something as simple as licensing into a pain in the arse.

The DVD we have actually has two licenses printed on it. One is KMS and the other is MAK. KMS is their Key Management Service key, and MAK is their Multiple Activation Key. Two really long string of numbers and letters that belong to our business. The difference? The KMS key allows us to have an "in-house" server to handle activations more or less automatically, while the MAK key allows us to input the MAK key individually into systems that then call Microsoft over the Internet to activate. Both the MAK and KMS keys are types of Volume Keys.

Making sense so far?

The Dell laptop with Windows 7 Home apparently has a self-activated key already installed. I popped in the DVD with Windows 7 and told it to run Setup. Setup started chugging along, asking a couple questions, then  it got to the point where it asked if I wanted to upgrade or clean install. I said, upgrade! I already installed an antivirus and our full version of Office (after deleting some crappy trial version of Office that was on the system when we received it for configuration. Setup started looking at the drive and said, "Nope! We can't do that with this version of Windows! You have to run the Windows Anytime Upgrade from the start menu!"

Ah-ha! It does have all the versions of Windows, I just need to plug my key there!

I do a search, since the menu system in today's incarnations of Windows makes it damn near impossible to actually find anything now, for the Windows Anytime Upgrade utility. Run it, it asks for the key. I put in our MAK. It rejects it.

Apparently you need a special Windows Anytime Upgrade key in order to activate that function.

So now I have a licensed, pre-activated Home key, a MAK key, and a KMS key, and none of them do me a damn bit of good because I need a WAU key.

I swear, several times actually, and re-run the setup utility, this time telling it to nuke the C: drive and start over.

This time it worked. I had to spend most of the day reinstalling Windows (Professional, this time), reinstalling Office, reinstalling antivirus, and all the miscellaneous utilities that I had installed but wiped out in the full reinstall.

This wouldn't piss me off so much if I hadn't seen the alternative way to handle licensing. In Linux, there are no real restrictions. You may get a flash of the GPL license, but no key to enter, no restrictions on how you use the operating system (other than what the GPL enforces, which for most users is of no consequence).

On OS X, there are licensing restrictions, but Apple largely takes you at the honor system. Their attitude seems to be, if you put the operating system on hardware that's not ours and it doesn't work, you're screwed, buddy. Apple is largely a hardware company. They make money from their hardware and services. While they have restrictions on what you can and can't do with their software they don't go out of their way to make customers bend backwards while gargling Yankee Doodle Dandy on a unicycle in order to install their software on their hardware.

In the end it feels as if you buy their operating system just by having purchased the Mac. It doesn't bug you for software keys or activation. It just installs. The closest I've had to being locked out from an installer was trying to use a MacBook installer CD to reinstall OS X on an older system whose hard disk had failed. The install CD was keyed to work only with MacBooks, even though it was the version I had on the PowerMac before it died. I think I was still able to reinstall on the new hard disk by booting the Mac to Target Disk Mode and installing from there, as I recall.

No pestering. No nagging. Definitely no typing thirty-digit codes by hand. Maybe Apple just thinks it's not worth pissing off or frustrating customers for the possibility that someone will pirate their software. I had to take my mother-in-law's old G4 notebook in to an Apple store after the operating system became corrupt, and in the end they did a restore from a clean image. The guy at the Genius bar asked what version of OS X was on it.

How would I remember? I haven't looked at that system in probably two years. I can't remember what I wore two days ago, let alone what my mother in law had on her notebook. I guessed 10.4 judging from what I probably had on it when it became her system.

The Genius didn't ask for proof. Didn't hassle us at all. I think he was prepared to install whatever version I said (except Snow Leopard, since that didn't work on G4 Macs). Oh dear, they might lose $30 if I stole a newer version of their operating system! Instead, they made happy customers a priority over losing a drop in the bucket in change.

On the other hand I ended up losing most of a day of work because I needed to install from scratch Windows because I didn't have a particular type of key. Because the keys we paid lots of money for, legitimate keys, wouldn't work to do an in-place upgrade that would have taken ten minutes.

Thanks, Microsoft. One of the largest companies on the planet and you manage to make something as simple as installing your operating system a major hassle for a legitimate customer. Let me wave my "you're number one" sign at you without using my pointer finger. With both hands.